© 2018 by Nakea Tyson. Site Photos: @mark.c | @createdbyjarrod

Repeating The Insanity: A Note To Self

January 23, 2016

 

Dear Self,

 

It’s a vicious cycle to repeat the same insanity over and over again; and expect a different result. At some point, you have to stop putting yourself in these gray scale “situationships” and keep things black and white.

 

How many times does someone have to tell you they don’t want you? It shouldn’t even get to once.

 

Men show you what they want based on their actions. And HE has told you and showed you time and time again that “he’s just not that into you.” Yet, for some odd reason you're still dealing with him. He has some type of hold on you. What is it? Why are you holding onto a guy who can easily let you go with no hesitation? You continue to hope and believe that eventually he will see that you are the right one for him. But is he the right one for you?

 

I really need you to have several seats right now and ask yourself these questions:

 

 - Do you really what to be with someone who disrespects you?

 - Hits you up when it convenient for him?

 - Does the bare minimum just to keep stringing you along until he gets        bored with you and moves on to the next female? Hell No.

 

So baby girl; stop playing yourself…like for real. You’ve got too much to offer to waste it on anyone who does not deserve your time and energy.

 

So, how did you get here?

 

You two met unexpectedly. You didn’t care nor expect anything to come out of it. You looked at the situation for what it was and decided you would go in with the mindset of being a friend. But in the process you failed to realize that not everyone isn't deserving of your friendship. In due time, you established a bond that was pure and organic. He had too much accessibility to you, that you became available every time he called or wanted to see you. He became your comfort zone.

 

You bypassed a lot of red flags because he showed you qualities that you wanted the last guy you were with to display. And for that, you got sucked into only one aspect of him and ignored all the other sides of him. Every pass you allowed him, gave him the impression that anything goes with you. And so you set the tone, that it was ok to be disrespected or treated like a convenience store because technically you’re not his girlfriend. And the reality of the situation is: He’s not your boyfriend! But you’re treating him as such. Why because he consistently texted and facetimed you. It’s nothing to send a text or make a phone call. Is that truly your vetting process? Come on baby girl, you got to do better. You giving these level 4 dudes, level 10 treatments.

 

Now, where do you go from here?

 

The damage is done. You invested too much into him. And you’re all up in your feelings. It happens to the best of us, that’s life. But in order to stop this toxic cycle, you have to completely cut him off and be ok with the fact that you may never speak to him again. The hardest part is walking away and never looking back. Look at it this way: if you have to question it, then it’s not for you.

 

Final Words of Wisdom:

 

Myleik Teele, Founder of CurlBox, said this in a recent podcast, “What you accept; is what you can expect.” You set the standard and tone for the type of people you let into your life. Take some time to yourself and figure out what you truly want. Love yourself more to put your needs before anyone else. Love is not difficult. Love is not confusing. And anything that displays that is not worth your time.

 

You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re educated. You’re a woman.

 

A good man will seek you and you will know when it’s this right one. Until then, check these dudes at the front door and push through hunnie.

 

Love,

 

Yourself

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