My mother always told me, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all."
But somehow I ended up saying too much and ended up hurting a good friend of mine.
It all happened so fast and I just blurted out my opinion, my thoughts. And next thing you know, he is saying, "goodbye" and hanging up the phone on me.
See here's the tricky thing about friendship, especially ones built over a long period of time. You get really comfortable and believe that your friend understands who you are and knows that you mean no harm in what you say or how you went about something. Even if you were wrong, you should be able to work those things out and move forward because whatever it was, you didn't mean to hurt them. And that's what matters the most. Right?
Yea, no. Friend or no friend. People have boundaries. People want to be respected. People want to feel valued. People want to know that you care about others not just your damn self.
So, here we are.
I took a friendship for granted and at times kind of abused it. Not because of intentionally wanted to hurt this person or be malicious, because I knew that irregardless of what I did, right or wrong, that person would always be there for me.
But I felt so entitled to state my opinion on something that had nothing to do with me, that I ended up crossing a boundary.
I know, I know. I was wrong.
You see with this particular individual, I've always shown my level of care differently. More like tough love. I am very blunt, direct and to the point. That was the only way we can even maintain a friendship in my opinion. Uh Oh, here I go with my damn opinion. But it's worked for me for the last 8 years and kept things in a black and white zone. Plus, I don't like playing with people's feelings. You get where I'm going with this.
So, last night I did what I always do. Because I thought he could handle it. I've been doing this for 8 years. You know me. Don't take it so personal. But when it comes to someone's personal life...IT IS PERSONAL.
They say hindsight is 20/20. If I could do it all over again, I would. But I can't take back what I said. I can only apologize for my actions and be more cognizant of how I treat people around me.
I'm not saint. I'm not perfect. And I'm human.
But that's no excuse.
And he has every right not to talk to me. But maybe one day we will be able to make amends.
Until then, I'm going to shut my trap, keep my opinions to myself, and speak/give only positive vibes to the universe.